Because of the nature of my work, I’ve had a lot of time off in the past few weeks. It has given me a chance to be still. I regularly sit on my own just doing nothing. (I know, I sound like a complete crazy woman). Other times I write music or read, maybe make some notes on projects and ideas that I would like to work on later in the year. I’ve enjoyed just recollecting and reflecting on my life and I’ve also enjoyed being ‘present’ in the presence of others. There are many great benefits to having this time to myself and it really gives me an opportunity to take stock of situations, relationships and life going on around me. By getting out of the rat race for a while, the pace of my life has slowed down. I can take more in and I can give more out. However, what I’ve seen and heard over the past few weeks has really upset me and I felt I needed to address it in a blog post, even though my blog is generally about all things musical!
I’ve been so, so saddened by the pain and worry that so many people are carrying around. So many of the people I’ve been in company with over the past few weeks are really hurting inside, in despair or lonely. I’ve asked my husband if he felt it too and he was certainly aware of it. Perhaps because I have had time to sit with it, I am really feeling it and taking it in and most importantly questioning it. I am very much aware that I am off the conveyor belt madness right now and I can see all the people in my life who are running like mad to keep up with it. It leaves them no time whatsoever to deal with themselves, to process an emotion that came completely unexpectedly, to reflect on how they feel about their work or their relationship etc etc. There just isn’t the time! #ticktock
Another thing I’ve really noticed is that people expect so much more from each other all the time. Within work, family and day to day life, we demand more and more. In turn, we expect more from ourselves and by not fulfilling all of the demands we put on ourselves, we end up feeling totally inadequate and often then resentful of others.
I believe that the root to a lot of this demand and expectation comes from the ‘illusion’ or as I like to call it ‘the delusion’. It takes less than five minutes on social media to go from being in a good, positive and focused head-space to suddenly feeling like everyone else’s life is so much better than our own. Right now, I look ridiculous. Pyjama bottoms and slippers, hair all over the place, stuffing my face with a toastie. You don’t need to know that though and even better, I can upload a photo right now, one that was taken 2 years ago, contoured up to the eyeballs looking like the world is at my feet and caption it ‘Feeling Amazeballs, Life is Great’. And within a split second, you are now part of the illusion that everything is great in my life and I look 10 years younger than I actually am. And I can do that again and again and again and again until eventually you have a perception of me that is way, way off anything close to the truth. We become less connected to each other, with less in common every day with lives that are illusion’s apart.
Fact is, we all need each other as much if not more than we ever did before. We all have challenges, that part of it has never and will never change. What has changed, and it’s only my opinion, is that we are less aware of ourselves and of each other. We are strangers who see pictures and posts of each other looking our best, feeling great, eating ice-cream, LOL… How can any of us truly be honest about the crap day we’ve had, or the relationship breakdown, or the overwhelming debt etc, if we are conditioning ourselves to share only the days when we look and feel amazing? It worries me that kids nowadays value themselves on likes and shares and the illusion that we as adults consciously create is actually their reality.
I know it is totally unusual for me to write about subjects like this but I have to say it how I see it. Many people are sad and very much alone. If we can perhaps slow things down and be a little more present with ourselves first, then maybe we can start to reach out again and connect. Telling it how it really is and not courtesy of the app that gives you a thousand options on how you feel or look at any particular moment in time…